Sunday, May 15, 2011

Forgetting Self

    Today I contemplate the world, and not my place in it but the oneness of myself to the world. Our connection to the planet is so precarious, we see ourselves as disconnected, as disassociated with all that lives around us.  Today as I do each morning I begin with thankfulness for this moment that I awake to the world and breathe the air.  But I also begin today to let myself go, to remember that what I am is a minor blip and that all around me is the truth.

     It is hard to always be aware, to let the drama go, we live our lives surrounded by the sucking mud of selfishness and greed pulling us down and gluing us to the mean and base world around, but if I can even for a moment feel my connection to the greater world, the larger natural world, the larger humanity or even the grace of the wind I am a step closer to the truth.

     Last week on my drive home from work sitting in traffic waiting for my turn to push through the choke point, I felt the weak sun breaking through the clouds, I saw the shadows lengthen as the day began to wane, I watched the shadow of the wheels on the cars in front of me as we inched along, they swirled against the rumble strip and together the wind and shadow, the movement of the cars and the texture of the road made the shadow come alive and shimmer in a vortex wheel, then I looked ahead to the cars as they stretched out before me on a  curving length of pavement and all the shadow wheels shimmered and whirled, tiny tornados and I felt a joy at this moment, this beauty in such a unlikely place.

     It didn’t last long soon I was back in the angry world of drivers disconnected, humans angling to be the first, the world of my past, the worries and anxieties of the future. But for that brief moment, for that small window in the midst of such banality I was struck with awe and wonder at the world I live in. Today is another opportunity to be connected to the greater within and around each of us. We may not be able to hold on to it for longer than a second, oh but what a wonderful second.


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